Love Is Patient

Chuck and Blair.

Marshall and Lily.

Jack and Rose.

Noah and Allie.

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.

The term “hopeless romantic” seems to have always been synonymous with my personality. I’m that girl that obsesses over adorable movie/TV show couples as if I knew them personally, that girl who is constantly finding new Netflix shows, movies, and books to completely immerse myself in solely on the basis of the love story within it, and that girl that can’t help but be held in complete admiration and awe by something as simple as a cute line or awkward interaction between two people. My eyes get wide and teary every time I watch the wedding of Chuck and Blair (spoiler alert oops), and does it make sense? Not at all; in fact it’s actually a little strange. I don’t know these people, nor do these people actually exist as they’re just actors and actresses reading scripts, so why does it have such a strong effect on me? I guess I just love love. I love the idea of “the one” whether or not it is an actual thing. I think that in this world where we are constantly moving and never resting or relaxing, we miss out on a lot and we skim through important events and memories and people that aren’t meant to be experienced so rapidly. Love is one of the very few things that has the ability to overpower the human race. To love, humans are weak, vulnerable. Under its spell we find ourselves doing such absurd acts simply because they’re being done for the person we love. That person suddenly consumes your every thought and consists of your every desire. You crave them in the simplest of ways and merely being in their presence would curb your longing for them. What’s puzzling is that even when we don’t yet have that person in our life or we’ve lost the only person that we thought was the closest resemblance, the craving and yearning for “the one” doesn’t cease; in a sense, it becomes greater, and so we search for an outlet to allow us to completely immerse ourselves in. I think I can watch Chuck and Blair’s wedding over and over and over because no matter how many times I’ve replayed the scene, it fascinates me that two people can go through hell and back and still end up together in the happiest state of all.

You see, once you love someone, it sticks. You may not be in love with them anymore, and you may not even know them that well anymore, but you still love them. Why? Maybe because love overpowers humans in every sense, and when love comes in, rationality and thought don’t exist. Some people may deem that an absurd thought and the idea of such irresponsibility would drive some crazy, but that’s not how I see it. If you’re anything like me, you hold onto the idea of love and the cliche “one” that everyone seems to be talking about nowadays; you hold onto this idea of a perfect love because if you don’t have hope that one day you’ll have it, what else is there to hope for that will give you the same riveting feeling? No one hopes for a mediocre, boring kind of love. That’s not what’s written about in books or movies because that’s not the kind of love worth pursuing. A love worth pursuing is the kind that lingers in your thoughts while you’re laying in bed at night, the kind that makes you want to be a better person, the kind that has the ability to make you inexplicably happy, and the kind that allows you to be your entire self without judgment or criticism. Of course this is just my idea of a great love, and everyone has their own criteria, but no matter what your list of characteristics and traits consists of, we all have a list. We search for the person that’s going to fit it best and fit us the best.

Unfortunately, to some, the journey of finding that person is more of a challenging obstacle course, and then there are those who most of us in that category call “the lucky ones” who find someone their meant to be with and somehow it just works without much struggle. While these people are very lucky to find someone so perfectly fitting for them with such ease, I strongly believe that those of us including myself who are in the first category do not give ourselves enough credit and it’s time that we start. So to those of you reading this who are struggling in the dreaded love department: stop dreading it, and start appreciating it and all it has taught you and is going to teach you. It’s people like us who have truly experienced heartbreak and being through hell and back, maybe even more than once. We know what it’s like to love and to lose, and guess what?  We survived. We’re still moving forward and not afraid to keep that hope that one day when God is ready He will bring us the one who is meant to stay by our side. You are stronger. You are better. You are getting closer, so don’t give up. Don’t lose that hope that all of us struggle to keep sometimes. Instead of looking back on your relationships and seeing all the loss that you experienced, look back on your relationships and see all that you have gained. From all the losses you have gained experience and knowledge in what you want in another person. You are able to go out on another first date knowing what you’re looking for, and don’t settle for anything less. “There are too many mediocre things in life and love shouldn’t be one of them.” Read it, reread it, remember it. You are special and you deserve an invigorating, enticing, and riveting love. After everything you’ve been through, why settle now? Why give up when you might be almost there? Why settle for something for the rest of your life and make yourself miss out on the love you longed and hoped for for so long?

Some people may think I’m ridiculous and strange for getting caught up in the beautiful love stories that have been written over the years and never getting tired of reading them or watching them in movies or TV shows, but it gives me hope and makes me happy because I know one day I will have that. That day may not come in the time frame that I want, but it will come and until then, there’s no sense in wasting the time and freedom that I have now worrying about a future that I cannot control. I might be that girl that’s on Pinterest planning her future wedding, watching How I Met Your Mother while obsessing over the relationship between Marshall and Lily, and ultimately that girl who seems to have this crazy idea of a truly great love that people say only exists in movies, but I would rather be completely absurd and passionate than to give up on one of life’s greatest concepts. And so, I refuse to settle simply because I feel lonely or bored as some tend to do, and I refuse to accept anything less than that constant butterflies and happy feeling. It may not come easy and it might take a lot of struggling and energy and perseverance, but I will not let myself stray from what I truly want, and I will have faith in God and His plans for my life. I haven’t come this far to back down now, because love isn’t something that just happens in movies, and one day I’ll prove that and look back on everything that happened and thank God for every struggle that lead me to where I am. I hope you will too.


One thought on “Love Is Patient

  1. funlovn says:

    Ashton, I love all of you blogs, your expression, your spirit and your maturity – and connecting with us over the hill peeps. This one is by far my favorite of you blogs because of your view at your age. Even though I haven’t been around a few years via your dad…. you certainly inspire me and I love watching you grow ❤ Kathy


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